Posted by: illinigirl | May 19, 2010


When I was little (5 or 6 years old). . . there was a memorable event in our house (although we dispute some of the details of the event).

A bird got in the house one night through the chimney.

Trust me. .. NOTHING brings out chaos like a large bird randomly flying inside your house. . .

I was screaming bloody murder.  Given my great love a birds (sarcasm), I’m sure this surprises no one.  My mom took my sister and I in my room and shut the door, where I continued to scream.  (I contend that my sister was screaming, as well, but others dispute this detail.)

The bird was smacking walls all over the place, and there was poop and feathers left behind from his big adventure.  One of my parents had a laundry basket, and I can’t remember what the other one had. . . a pan?  A tennis racket?  I can’t remember.  Seeing as I was busy screaming in my room, I was too busy to catch the details.

Finally Mom and Dad trapped it under the laundry basket and took it outside.

Yikes.  Scarred me for life. . . this explains a lot, right?

So “Modern Family” had a bird incident tonight that was a little too close for comfort.  Even though I felt like crap, I was scream-laughing during this scene.

A guy got a bird in his house, and screamed like girl and trapped himself in a bedroom with his baby daughter. . . but. . . she wanted milk and wouldn’t stop crying.  . . so he said he had to be a man. . . and ran out to get the milk (screaming like a girl the whole time).  This was sooooooo me.

This reminds me of the giant cockroach incident in my house in TX.   I trapped the cockroach in my bedroom at 11:30 p.m. on a school night. . . and then realized. . . uh, I’m going to need my clothes and makeup tomorrow so I’m going to need to go in that room at some point. . . it might as well be now, when I know where the bug is!!!  I was seriously giving myself a pep talk like, “I can do this.  I’m bigger than this thing.  It’s no big deal.”

A bird, on the other hand???  I’d probably try crawling out a window before I would confront a bird!



  1. For the record, you are the only one that says I was screaming..Mom and Dad have my back on this one, so you are going to have to accept it. Tully knows she wasn’t there but also agrees with me!

  2. a bird in the house would be the end of me. i swear.

    but i loved reading your childhood recap!! so funny.

  3. Always……. I mean always have a tennis racket handy. I am surprised that your mother didn’t want to get a bird dog after this event..

    i would have been screaming like a little girl too.

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