Posted by: illinigirl | April 26, 2009

Lions and Tigers and Pumas, oh my!

So on Friday night, a friend referred to me as a “puma”. . . This cracks me up on like. . . ten levels.

I am sure you are all familiar with “cougars”. . . the older woman all hooched out at the bars and on the prowl for love (usually going after young guys). . . We have extensive experience with this segment of society at one of our favorite bars.  My friend Matt often makes “the claw” there behind ladies backs.  Not a young crowd, but great live country music. . . so what are ya gonna do?  🙂

On Friday night, my friend (and new blog reader 🙂 ) Adam was observing another girl “attack” several men.  He said that she was a cougar. . . and I’m just a puma.  I didn’t think that I even qualified as a puma!!!  I consulted urban dictionary to see if any of the definitions matched up with me. . . (numbers are out of order b/c other numbers are about the clothing/shoe line).

Okay, I’ll give you the attractive part. . . JUST KIDDING.  I guess I kinda fit this definition being in my late 20’s. . . and I guess I am an urban pre-cougar?  LOL.

Okay, yes. . . I’m not old enough to be a cougar, thank you. . . but I don’t tend to go for younger men.  I mean, I don’t have a “type” or anything because that would insinuate that I actually date a lot or something. . .

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. . . Let’s see what’s wrong with this one.  The age is okay.  I don’t tend to “lurk” in the shadows at clubs.  Lord help me if I’m a “lurker”.  I would not classify myself as “trendy” in *any* category!  I do not tend to travel in packs. . . I usually go out in groups, but not groups of people looking for love!  I also do not tend to travel with cougars.  I also have never had a “boy toy”, now that I think about it. . . Maybe I’m doing everything all wrong. . . 😉

WHERE TO START WITH THIS ONE???  I am charming, I’ll give you that 🙂 . . . but I’m not just “innocent-seeming”. . . I am actually innocent.  I am not sure that Prudy McPruderson can own any part of this definition!  I will give you that I was EXTREMELY alcohol-induced Friday night. .  but that’s about it.  Sweet promises???  LOL. . .

Although he hasn’t known me very long, my friend recognizes that I am not a slut and not aggressive. . . so he would probably agree that most of these definitions do not apply to me. . . but I thought that it was too funny not to share. . .

I ♥ urban dictionary.



  1. very funny!

    i love urban dictionary, too…it’s hilarious!

  2. very funny. you might have to work that into your tagline.

  3. ur more like a kitten, not so much a puma

  4. Maybe even a declawed kitten. 🙂

  5. hahahahaha…I agree you aren’t these things. This one is however. Awkward: passing a homeless person on your way to a coin star machine

    And probably good at these…
    ice maker 3001 up, 274 down
    The opposite of ice breaker. Something you do that makes it super awkward, right after meeting someone.
    Dan: Hey, you’re in my spanish class right? I’m Dan.
    Christine: Oh yeah, I’m Christine. We should totally hang out some time.
    Tony (butting in): Dude DAN we gotta go over to my place, we’re gonna have a huge orgy with these Brazilian quadruplets.
    Dan: Uh…

  6. Adam is correct on this one. . . any definitions of awkward probably apply. 🙂

  7. I found my definition on that site…


    One who sleeps frequently and is able to accumulate excess hours of sleep above beyond the mean. Sleep sluts are able to fall asleep indiscriminately and value sleep above all else.

    I think I learned from Grandma Woodworth “resting her eyes” while she babysat us!

  8. you have gotten better in your old age. . . I don’t think you’re as sleep slutty as you used to be. . .

  9. The last couple of guys I’ve dated have been younger than me. One of them decided to call me a Cougar, until I started getting mad.

    He quickly changed it to Puma (as if that’s any better).

    I honestly don’t think we’re old enough to be either, but take it as a complement.

  10. Wow. I learned something, Cougar I got, Puma I thought was an old school sneaker. I need to stop asking for a cheap pair of Puma’s at Foot Locker. No wonder I get such odd looks.

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