Posted by: illinigirl | March 23, 2009

To Sit or to Hover?

This is my most embarrassing moment post. . . granted, it’s not really *embarrassing* per se . . . because the people I was with had no idea I was living this giant debacle at the time.

So we can rename this. . . my most stupid moment.

Let me preface this story with my bathroom and germaphob background. . .

If you are a guy, you don’t have to think about this. . . but I used to be a squatter in the bathroom.  I really didn’t want to sit my arse down where complete strangers sat. . . and once in high school, a friend told me that she had to have stuff burned off her bum that were likely caused from bacteria on a toilet seat.  Okay, I was sold on hovering!

So a few years ago. . . I was meeting some work colleagues at one of the nicest, most lovely, and more expensive places I’ve ever been.  I arrived early and wanted to use the restroom when I arrived.

I walk in the stall, not really paying attention. . . hover. . . and all the sudden it appears as though urine is on the floor.  WHAT???  WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE TOILET???

Um, there was a LID on the toilet, and it was DOWN.  (Fancy that, this is a very rare thing in public, and I just wasn’t paying attention.)

So. . . I was peeing right on top of the lid. . . and it was everywhere.  Now, this did not go on for long, but long enough.  I had a mess to clean up, and some got on my PANTS.  FOR THE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cleaned up the bathroom and went to wash myself in the sink.  I basically drowned my pants in water, and the bathroom fragrance happened to be “clean linen”, which I sprayed lightly on a paper towel and blotted on my pants.

Luckily, I had a long coat so I could hide my wet arse as I exited the restroom.  SUCH an uncomfortable meal. . . being wet and hoping and praying that I did not smell like urine.

This is why now. . . unless I am at a nasty establishment or a gas station bathroom. . . I am a sitter!  😉



  1. oh no:)
    don’t worry, it could have been worse. you could have done something else besides pee on the closed toliet seat. now that would have been a mess.

  2. thanks for sharing! 🙂 it’s good to have a laugh right before bed…

    and i’ll definitely be checking the toilet seat now!

  3. That totally sounds like a Bridget Moment . . . I would have done the exact same thing. REASON BEING: How often do you normally see toilet seat lids on public toilets???? I rest my case!

  4. Ohhhhhh nooooooo!!!!!! LOL You poor thing! At least it was a “fancy” bathroom with “fragrances” and stuff 😉

  5. Uh, yeah… I did that once. I had to go so badly that I ran into the bathroom, pulled down my pants, sat down and peed.

    It wasn’t until the urine started going everywhere that I realized the lid was down. And I was a SITTER.

    Luckily for me, it wasn’t in a fancy restaurant, tho… Kudos to you for covering it up!

  6. Okay, nice to know that some of you could picture yourselves doing this or have done this. . . (even if you’re a sitter!) LOL 😉

  7. Oh, thanks so much for the laugh today! I’ll be watching the public toilets a little more closely now!

  8. Wow, that is hilarious (and probably the highlight of my day… at least the funniest thing I’ve heard today)!

    Thanks for sharing your blog! I look forward to more hilarity ahead. =)

  9. […] is more fun than reading a story about your friend do something dumb? […]

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